May 2, 2010
My husband's name is Norman, and he was the first resident of the neighborhood in Arbor Oaks Terrace. What a godsend, what a blessing, what a gift to have this memory care residency serving Newberg and surrounding communities.
In the sixties, my husband went from television back into radio and was known as the Morning Mayor. No one loved getting up more than he did at 3:30a.m. too sign on at 5. As part of his community involvement, I joined him in visiting hospitals, orphanages, and nursing homes. Invariably upon leaving the nursing homes, a sense of hopelessness would engulf us.
As I look around us today, that sense of hopelessness doesn't exist. Instead, Arbor Oaks offers a bit of heaven on earth to our loved ones so deserving of this environment. Janie Kellett, administrator, is awesome, and w/o her unselfish guidance and wisdom these past weeks, I wouldn't be standing before you.
My husband has LBD - Lewy Body Dementia. Most of you here today probably do not know that there are three dementias...Alzheimer's, Lewy Body, and Frontotemporal. We hear the word “dementia” and think Alzheimer's. LBD, in addition to memory loss carries w/ it Parkinson's...hallucinations...and is more aggressive.
Norman and I have been on this journey for about three years. I was known as a “caregiver.” Now, I can once again be his “wife.” You can't imagine how wonderful that is. Arbor Oaks makes this possible. Knowing Janie as I do, her staff will continue to be compassionate, w/ on-going education in the field of dementia, and responsive to the residents needs.
For those of you here today, please let your family, neighbors, acquaintances, and business associates know of this wonderful memory care residence. Let care givers know that they can bring their loved ones here for respite care...for the day or over nights.
Friends would offer to come at any time, any hour, day or night. Do you know how difficult it is for caregivers to ask this when the need arises? I know from personal experience. Because of the side effects associated w/ Lewy Body, it was difficult to ask friends. There is no
easy way to “redirect” when a fixation enters their minds...or the Parkinson's that brings w/ it loss of balance and falls...and the hallucinations which are so VIVID and REAL.
I invite you to go to your computers to the LBD website and read what caregivers write and the problems they face. When you Google LBD “Little Black Dress” will be the headliners...just go far enough down and the website for LBD Association will miraculously be there! So, if you forget Lewy Body, re'ber “LBD for Little Black Dress.”
Just a word about Janie Kellett...we first met Janie through a mutual friend. On March 9th, the three of us sat down w/ Janie. After that meeting I called Janie and said we'd do level one...keep our name on your list and call in rotation. Then, not long after that I called and said, let's go to level two...keep me advised of room availabilities. And, then it was, when are you opening...a room is needed. On the morning of April 12th, I called Janie for help! She came right out, and w/o her orchestration of events that day, I don't even want to think about the outcome. Janie literally moved mountains. Dr. Bailey and his staff worked like beavers to get the paper work accomplished and coordinated for the moves that needed to be made. We went from Providence, to Tuality, and one week later directly into Arbor Oaks....moving in ONE day after the state license went up on the wall for Arbor Oaks. God is Good!
I can't think of a better gift to give someone you might know who is a caregiver than a day of respite care here at Arbor Oaks....even an overnight. A place where the caregiver can leave, enjoy their day away, and not be worried.
I carry a little pad around w/ me, and when I visit Norman, I write down things that he says....so that I will have these to pass on to the children, three of whom do not live close enough to visit. Yesterday he said, “Our marriage was a pot of gold, and the power in our relationship was the motor of love...w/o the motor of love, the love machine dies.” He followed w/, “We slipped and fell, but we always picked ourselves up again.” And then, very quietly, “We were there for other people as well.”
Norman and I have finished one journey, now we have started another...here at Arbor Oaks Terrace. I'm willing to share our “patches” as I am determined to take the negatives and turn them into positives. In closing, I found this by Austin Dobson:
Throughout their lifelong journey still
Guide thou these two in good and ill.
And where so-er the way extend
Be with them, Father, to the end.
Blessings to all, and to Janie, my heartfelt gratitude,
Judy
